i really just have to stop .

i have to stop getting my hopes up . i have to stop getting my expectations high . i have to thinking the best things that could happen , because every single time . always always , in the end . it hurts . i end up feeling like shit , i end up devistated, i become irritable . i get crushed . i just have to stop getting all my emotions up high . no matter what happens , they all crash and burn . i have to learn how to just go with the flow , and whatever happens, happens . and it's funny because it always revolves around you . i just dont know if i should stop loving you . i know my problem is thinking ill talk to you the whole day and you won't leave unti night time . but you just leave anytime, i hate doing that . i feel like a fucking idiot once you go . and its all my fault for thinking so posotive when really in my eyes it just goes negative . i realize that i just want my days to be with you . it doesn't matter if its just texting or im actually with you . and i get so high up of thinking that will happen . but it ends up not happening and everything just crashes . its becoming a habbit of me doing this and i get hurt hurt over and over . im trying my hardest now to not fall for a trap of expecting so much from you . i love you, but really , should i ? i want to, i really really want to , but im scared if i keep doing this ill probably hurt each and every day .